it's all fine

i swear one day i am just going to snap, vanish into the night with a ski mask, track down all the...

Tue, 21 May 2013 00:06:34 +0100

i swear one day i am just going to snap, vanish into the night with a ski mask, track down all the people who act like twatmuffins to my friends, and punch them in the balls.

and they’ll be like ‘who was that masked avenger?’

my friends will, i mean

not the twatmuffins

they’ll be more like aAAAUUAUAuauuaAAuaUHHGHH my ballS

The Slow Dance of the Infinite Stars: so apparently I am going to have ~official unofficial disciplinary...

Mon, 20 May 2013 23:16:14 +0100

The Slow Dance of the Infinite Stars: so apparently I am going to have ~official unofficial disciplinary...:

neverrwhere:

so apparently I am going to have ~official unofficial disciplinary action~ against me because I am occasionally unfocused and lack self awareness at work

well yeah, of course I am, I’m Dyspraxic, I have a fucking disability that is entirely based around lacking awareness of myself and my…

this-disgusting-ribbon: Abandoned Amusement Park in New...

Mon, 20 May 2013 18:07:56 +0100

this-disgusting-ribbon:

Abandoned Amusement Park in New Orleans

holy shit that second photo tho

VERY relevant

The Letter

Mon, 20 May 2013 12:42:00 +0100

“Tracy?” said Campion. “Tracy’s going to be your mentor? Oh, Fern… I’m sorry. Can’t you switch?”

Fern looked up, sharply. She was still out of breath from her headlong flight from the Dock, flurried and triumphant, perched with her wings folded any-old-how and knees drawn up on the arm of the lopsided sofa. She’d been in the middle of excitedly showing her letter to Sorrel, who wouldn’t be able to train for another year, and was therefore both thrilled for her and turning violet in the wings with jealousy.

“Why? What’s wrong with Tracy?”

“Yeah,” said Sorrel, immediately, a shrill and slightly sycophantic echo. This out-of-the-way pocket of the Hive was theirs, home to their stuff, their squabbles and schemes, nearly a hundred years worth of scattered young-Fae treasures, junk, and clutter, and one sagging sofa stolen from the break room on a daring raid. It was the only place that Sorrel, small and easily-trodden-on and flown-over, ever spoke above a nervy mumble, let alone dared to voice an opinion. Unfortunately, it was almost always someone else’s opinion, stolen wholesale, sometimes making the others feel like they were stuck in a room with a small purple callowpug with a knack for mimicry. “What’s wrong with Tracy, Campion? I heard, he’s so skill that he got his Tooth Fairy permit straight from the Lady herself.”

“I heard,” said Pitt, leaning suddenly over the back of the sofa and poking Sorrel right between the wings, eliciting a squeak, “he killed a faith leech with his bare hands.”

“Aw, that’s just a legend.” Sorrel didn’t sound very sure of himself. “There’s no such thing as faith leeches, right, Fern? Right?”

“It’s true,” said Pitt, in a solemn, ominous voice. He was the biggest of the four, big enough to cast a melodramatic, icy shade over the couch just by opening his cotton-blue wings against the light. Sorrel yelped and grabbed Fern’s arm. “It nearly burned his hand off. He’s still got the scar. You can check if you don’t believe me-”

“Knock it off,” snapped Fern. Sorrel was squeezing the life out of her arm, his small hands gripping like clamps. “I heard that story too, but that doesn’t mean-”

“Fern can check!” Sorrel rolled out from underneath the tent of bluelight, a small tangle of silk and purple fluff, kneeling up pleadingly in front of Fern’s sofa arm. “Fern, Fern, you can ask him if it’s true, ask him about his hand, okay? Please?”

“I haven’t even met him yet!” With great care, Fern folded her letter back into its creamy, officious envelope. “And when I do, we’re going to be talking about important stuff- Tooth Fairy stuff! Not stupid rumours.”

“More than I’ll be doing,” said Pitt, closing his wings with a gloomy snap. “I got dotty ol’ Cobweb. She’ll probably be too busy faffing around with her plants to teach me anything useful.”

“I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with him, Ferny,” said Campion, who’d chosen to avoid the rough-housing on the sofa by perching herself on the table, where she was very carefully enchanting small sparkles to stay on her ballet flats, using the tip of her wand to sow them one by one into the canary-yellow silk like glittering seeds. “It’s just, I know how much you were looking forward to getting out into the field with a proper Tooth Fairy… oh, now, don’t get me wrong, Tracy’s the best caseworker in the Hive, everyone knows that, but you have to admit he’s kind of at a disadvantage- I mean, what’s he going to be able to teach you? How to climb ladders?”

Sorrel giggled. Fern, holding her letter tightly in her hand, could feel herself getting rather hot around the ears, her wings flushing darker, deeper pink, the short cilia around their roots sizzling with irritation. Yan, tan, tethera, she chanted to herself, in her silent simmer-down voice. Yan, tan, tethera. Calm.

“The Council wouldn’t have asked him to mentor me in the Duty if he wasn’t really good at it,” she said. “My marks are great.”

“Of course,” said Campion, in a soothing, distracted voice, in two patronising syllables neatly undoing all of her friend’s efforts to keep her temper. Fern narrowed her eyes.

“You know, you never said who you got,” she said. Campion was her especial friend, but at that moment she couldn’t help ill-wishing her, just a little. If only Cam had been assigned to someone like Primrose, their maniacal pixie of a fitness instructor, who’d have her up at dawn doing wing exercises, or Clover, the Schedule Fairy, who loved maths with a passion that wasn’t Faelike at all and was deathly allergic to dentine. Then, Fern could forgive her jealousy, and maybe stop feeling quite so sick in the pit of her stomach.

“Oh, they put me with Mallory,” said Campion, seeding an extra-large sparkle at the very tip of her slipper. She put down her wand and extended her long, graceful leg to examine the effect, turning her foot this way and that to catch the light. “There, how does it look?”

“Like a hotel chandelier,” said Fern, sourly. Mallory was the unspoken, undisputed queen of the middle tiend, a beautiful purplewing with stunning flight skills and the highest collection rate since Eldermaithe Tabitha had retired from the Duty.

“Don’t worry about it, Fern,” said Pitt, from the floor, where he was busy putting the squeaking Sorrel in a scuffling, good-natured winglock. “And don’t let Cammy get to you. Tracy’s probably going to be great, you’ll see. Everything I’ve heard about him is awesome. Legendary stuff. Anyway, wings or no wings, he can’t be worse than ol’ ‘Greenfingers’ Cobweb.”

“Yeah.” Fern cheered up. “Thanks, I bet you’re-”

“And if he is,” said Pitt, lunging after Sorrel as the smaller fairy tried to make a getaway under the sofa, “maybe you can switch.”

“Thanks for that, Pitt,” said Fern. “Thanks a lot.”

rubitrightintomyeyes: Read More

Mon, 20 May 2013 00:43:32 +0100

rubitrightintomyeyes:

Read More

Stephen Merchant Wins $20 In Live Interview, Thousands Swoon

Mon, 20 May 2013 00:24:00 +0100

melons: I’m almost tempted to drive out to LA on my vespa and see if MAYBE i catch him spending that 20 bucks

waffles: Woman On Vespa Hits Comedian

Steals $20

Still At Large

melons: lol

waffles: Woman On Vespa Hits Comedian

Steals Comedian

Leaves $20 At Scene

melons: LOL

waffles: $20 Unable To Testify

Police Stumped

melons: Woman Last Seen Screaming “I FINALLY GOT HIM”

waffles: Update: Police, acting on testimony of $20, create artists’ impression of suspect

THEY PICKED MY QUESTION TO ASK STEVE AAHHHH AHHhhHHHHHhh I LOVE EVERYONE he did not have any advice...

Sun, 19 May 2013 23:10:00 +0100

THEY PICKED MY QUESTION TO ASK STEVE AAHHHH

AHHhhHHHHHhh

I LOVE EVERYONE

he did not have any advice per se bUT HE TOLD A RLY CUTE ANECDOTE ABOUT IT

still trying to calm

oh same

Sun, 19 May 2013 18:17:00 +0100

oh same

imagineyourotp: Imagine your OTP living happily ever after (last post. I’m sorry.)

Sun, 19 May 2013 08:38:55 +0100

imagineyourotp:

Imagine your OTP living happily ever after

(last post. I’m sorry.)

EDIT: Found two more Nuclear Tesugis.

Sun, 19 May 2013 00:33:00 +0100

EDIT: Found two more Nuclear Tesugis.

writing anon, i will totally find you some advice to the best of my dubious ability when i am not so...

Sun, 19 May 2013 00:26:52 +0100

writing anon, i will totally find you some advice to the best of my dubious ability when i am not so eurovisioned and zonked.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUROVISIOOOOOOON

Sat, 18 May 2013 19:55:24 +0100

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUROVISIOOOOOOON

talythiastarseeker: Thank-you very much Waffles! He’s...

Sat, 18 May 2013 18:33:22 +0100

talythiastarseeker:

Thank-you very much Waffles! He’s super-cute!

AAHHH YES IT MADE IT aw you’re welcome :D

Just a reminder that the Nuclear Tesuji is a thing, and that...

Sat, 18 May 2013 18:21:00 +0100

Just a reminder that the Nuclear Tesuji is a thing, and that table-flipping and rage-quitting are by no means modern phenomenons.

EDIT: Found two more.

Bee, honeycomb and honey jewel by Ilgiz Fazulzianov. stealing...

Sat, 18 May 2013 17:17:47 +0100

Bee, honeycomb and honey jewel by Ilgiz Fazulzianov.

stealing thank

oodlesodoodles: Read More aaeiiEE

Fri, 17 May 2013 20:44:34 +0100

oodlesodoodles:

Read More

aaeiiEE

boopy doop doop i’m going to put my rp accounts (purges-lore, primrose-the-exercise-fairy etc)...

Fri, 17 May 2013 18:50:00 +0100

boopy doop doop i’m going to put my rp accounts (purges-lore, primrose-the-exercise-fairy etc) on hiatus for a while. this seems like as good a time as any since i’m not leaving anyone hanging (unless i am in which case man i’m sorry i have terrible timing D:)

it was awesome playing with you guys @u@

Bristol-Korred's Profile Summary

Fri, 17 May 2013 17:27:57 +0100

bristol-korred:

waffleguppies:

I read that as Onion.
Tracy Onion Aberdeen.

Yeah.

You’re not the first…

Sorry! D: If it helps, onions are extremely noble vegetables, well known for having anti-oxidant, anti-inflammatory, and anti-cholesterol properties!

BOOBER HAS STRIPEY JIMJAMS

Fri, 17 May 2013 17:15:42 +0100

BOOBER HAS STRIPEY JIMJAMS

Bristol-Korred's Profile Summary

Fri, 17 May 2013 16:57:34 +0100

firefly-and-fae:

bristol-korred:

firefly-and-fae:

Name:
Tracy Orion Aberdeen

Read More

Actually you’re wrong.

I got out of the SCP in February of 2o12, and we got back to power in December of the same year.

I read that as Onion.

Tracy Onion Aberdeen.